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21 October 2008

BREAKING NEWS: Girls Playing Football Violates Biblical Principles

This has nothing to do with politics and everything to do with stupidity.

Apparently, in Spalding County, girls playing football will get you condemned to an eternity in hell.

Kacy Stuart, a 14-year-old student at the private Christian school New Creation Center, wants to play football. She's a kicker and according to her team's coach, a damn good one too. Unfortunately for Kacy, since she doesn't have a penis or a pair of testicles, she's had to jump through hoops just to suit up and walk out onto the field.

First, after trying out and making the New Creation Center Crusaders football, Kacy was told by the Georgia Football League that she couldn't play.

In August, Hank St. Denis, executive board chairman of the Georgia Football League, overruled the decision by New Creation football head coach Ken Townley to let Kacy join its team [Source: Columbus Ledger-Enquirer, "Spalding County girl gets to play football", October 20, 2008]. The decision by St. Denis resulted in Kacy missing most of the season until a letter from the Stuart family attorney caused the Georgia Football League executive board chairman to reverse his ruling.

Now that Kacy Stuart is on the field, she's having to deal with other teams in the league refusing to play her team simply because she's on it.

Case in point, the East Atlanta Mustangs said they wouldn't face the New Creation Center Crusaders on the gridiron because of their beliefs about female football players.

"The East Atlanta Mustangs didn’t play us under protest but they were allowed to read a statement on their beliefs about female football players," [New Creation Center Athletics Director Ken]Townley said. "They used biblical verses from the book of Romans. I was very stunned by that." [Source: Atlanta Journal-Constitution, "Controversy follows girl football kicker", October 20, 2008]

Kacy's mom thinks the teams not wanting to play New Creation Center don't want to face a girl. I think so too.

Can you imagine what the post-game talk in the locker room would be like if the team lost on a successful field goal attempt by a girl?

Coach: I'm disappointed in you. Y'all played like girls out there.

Corner Back: Man, I wish we could play like girls. That girl killed us out there.

But what amazes me is the Bible being used to justify not playing a team with a female member. That just about takes the cake, doesn't it?

I must have missed that lesson in Sunday School; you know, that females playing football is an affront to the Lord. So I've got a project for the more learned members of the Christian faith.

Could you point out to me where, in the book of Romans or any other part of the Bible, it says that females playing football is an abomination punished by eternal damnation?

Thanks a bunch!